It was the Person I Ended up Having a Relationship With that had said to me in June, "you need some counseling or anti-depressants or something".
I am having some counseling at the moment, but I will not be taking anti-depressants and I have found that the "or something" was in fact asking him to leave.
It was nearly seven months ago now and I find that I am still replaying the events in my mind, to a degree that I am not comfortable with.
Seven months ago it was waking me up in the middle of the night and at five or six in the morning. It was only absent when I was working and even then it would return like the water fills the hole as soon as you take your hand out of the bucket.
I realised a couple of months ago, that I had not bought or read a newspaper for FIVE MONTHS.
My days were a roller coaster (to use the cliche) of manically coping and then falling apart.
This turned into the same ride, but over two or three days; then it became weeks, and now it is starting to be an uncomfortable niggle, a thing that has not yet been dealt with.
So that's why I'm here.
To see if it will work.
To dump it in my psychic bin.